On Resolutions for the New Year

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I hate New Year’s Resolutions (don’t we all?).  I mean, really, if you don’t do these things normally, why would deciding them at the beginning of a new year help?  With that said, I do like to take the new year as an opportunity to remind myself of the things that I normally try to remind myself, making them somehow more concrete.  Which kinda makes them resolutions, and therefore, by my own logic, doomed to fail, but who cares.

1. Life is not a competition. It doesn’t matter who has the bigger house, the more prestigious degree, more friends, a busier social life, a cooler wardrobe…life is not about one upping everyone else and the sooner you learn that the better.  Life is about finding your own personal satisfaction, not about one-upping everyone around you.

2. Take time to appreciate the world around you.  Don’t get caught up in the past or the future, in nostalgia or in goals or paper to be written.  Those things are worthwhile pursuits too but it’s too easy to forget to stop and smell the roses.

3. Happiness comes from within. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing. If you’re not happy, nothing can make you that way. I spend too much time blaming my own unhappiness on other things.  I want to make the best out of any and every situation, every opportunity.

4.  There is nothing wrong with imperfection. Fear of failure is not constructive.  Don’t let your pride hold you back.  There’s nothing wrong with failing, everyone does it.

5. It’s ok to be alone, and it’s ok to be lonely. You don’t need to spend every moment surrounded by people to be happy.  Solitude is healthy and enjoyable.  You don’t have to spend every weekend out surrounded by people when you’re happier with a glass of wine and a good TV show.

6. We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are -Anais Nin Make sure to take a step back when you’re angry or sad or any emotion threatens to overwhelm your sensibilities.

7.  Everyone is doing the best that they can.   Yes, sometimes people do make a concerted effort to be assholes.  Most of the time they’re too busy just trying to live their own lives to think about you.  And if they care enough to think about you, be grateful.  Don’t expect too much because then you’ll be perpetually unhappy.

8. If something makes you more unhappy than happy it might not be worth the effort. Some things are worth fighting for.  Others aren’t, simply because they are battles that cannot be won.  I don’t believe it’s weak to stop “beating a dead horse,” but healthy.  Some things are worth the effort of perseverance, others just aren’t.

9.  Screw being angry.  It’s not worth it.  Especially when those extra assholish assholes are actually trying to make you feel bad for whatever reason (Mom wasn’t far off when she said they’re just jealous).  Anger doesn’t lead to anything good (except force lightning, and that’s morally questionable) and just leaves you feeling like shit.  Leave that to other people, namely the ones who were trying to make you feel bad in the first place.

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