On the Zombie Apocalypse

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So now that it’s officially New Year’s Eve, it’s time to address what’s been on all of our minds all year long…will the zombie apocalypse FINALLY come this year?

That I have an obsession with media based on zombies is no secret, and that I frequently discuss what weapon I would use in the zombie apocalypse is pretty well known.  I seem to share those things with a vast percentage of the population.  But I recently developed an interest into this fad…where the hell did it come from?  I mean, there has to be something in our society that makes everyone so damn obsessed with the idea of it all getting destroyed and us being left to our primal urges, machete-ing zombie types in the face instead of working 9-5 in a cubicle.

So is it a return to nature that we desire?  I don’t think so, because these zombie flicks are always set in the apocalyptic city, a dystopian setting we’ve all seen half a million times in so many movies it almost seems real (note to self, great idea for a theme park, once you get rich).  We like the idea of being able to raid the supermarket for Twinkies without getting arrested.  So are we all just desperately hoping for the decay of modern civilization?  Possibly.

But it’s kinda like when you sorta hope you’ll run into your ex at the nightclub…you’re kinda hoping for the train wreck but when you see his tongue exploring that cute blond’s face you’re suddenly thinking….OH GOD I’M SO TIRED OF HITTING ZOMBIES WITH HEAVY SHIT.

But really, I mean, I can’t help but imagine that most of us who desperately ache for the zombie apocalypse would be chow just about immediately.  I mean, who works out these days, am I right?  Ok, I do, but that definitely doesn’t mean I’m in zombie fighting shape (although that might be the workout I need to drop that extra 5 pounds….).

And, just because I’m AWESOME at playing House of the Dead doesn’t really qualify me to ACTUALLY shoot a gun.

Anyways, fortunately for those of us not able to run more than a (really slow) kilometer, the zombie apocalypse probably won’t happen this year.  But I still think the topic merits more extensive investigation.  I mean, Romero’s zombies symbolized mindless consumers in Dawn of the Dead, and in 28 Days Later (and in Romero’s The Crazies, the remake of which I just saw last night) the zombies fall victim to a virus that makes them killing machines…but not really that different from uninfected humans.

So maybe we see something of ourselves, some despicable part, in these critters.  Maybe we want to get away from the monotony of a daily life in which it seems like we don’t even need to use our brains.  Or maybe we really are just bloodthirsty freaks wishing we had a good excuse to run over our high school rivals in our pickup trucks.

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